Putting Myself First

The older I get the more I realize I have to put myself first. People say they understand but in reality, how can they? That is something I had to come to terms with. I cannot expect someone to be able to fully grasp the pain and mental turmoil I have on a daily basis. I take responsibility for this. I stopped being as open and honest about the pain I have. Just because I am walking around or laughing does not mean it does not feel like my insides are about to fall out. I cramp, have spasms, and am nauseous daily. I still have days when I cannot walk. There are days when it is hard to talk.

I still have to show up in the world, which is not easy. There are many days I do not want to leave my bed. I still have to no matter what. With all that being said… I have neglected my body for far too long. I will no longer try to live up to the expectations put on me. I have to show up in the safest way for ME and MY health. So from now on I am back to being completely open and honest.